A Refreshing Take on The Mikado
This piece is performed by Ko-Ko, Lord High Scrum master of the corporation of Titipu.com.
As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I’ve got a little list — I’ve got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed — who never would be missed!
There’s the newbie project manager with his unrealistic goals –
all IT sys admins who understand Windows server roles –
All developers who code mobile apps, in Objective C –
Who look at you so smugly when you try to use free() –
And the craft beer imbibing, bearded Brooklyn agile evangelist
They’d none of ’em be missed — they’d none of ’em be missed!
He’s got ’em on the list — he’s got ’em on the list;
And they’ll none of ’em be missed — they’ll none of ’em be missed.
There’s the Angular aficionado who despises all your code,
And the people who insist that all coding be done in Node,
They never would be missed — they never would be missed!
Then the idiot who denounces, with enthusiastic tone,
And the person from marketing, who thinks this idea will fly,
And who “doesn’t understand programming, but would rather like to try”;
And the fervent agilist — I’ve got him on the list!
And that renegade who builds a business plan based on common Lisp –
I don’t think she’d be missed — I’m sure she’d not be missed!
He’s got her on the list — he’s got her on the list;
And I don’t think she’ll be missed — I’m sure she’ll not be missed!
And that tester who find bugs in code, that you just released –
All manual testers, performance engineers, it matters not the least –
And coders who claim that the logged bugs, they cannot reproduce
When asked what they tried – from the code they did simply deduce –
They’d none of ’em be missed — they’d none of ’em be missed.
That QA literalist – I’ve got him on the list!
And the tyrant build master who tries to fork your branched Git
But yells at you when your unit tests turn the backlog to Sh*t –
But it really doesn’t matter whom you put upon the list,
For they’d none of ’em be missed — they’d none of ’em be missed!
You may put ’em on the list — you may put ’em on the list;
And they’ll none of ’em be missed — they’ll none of ’em be missed!